Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Touch: your hand and warm sand....

So this is it, the feeling that I've missed
A subtle kind of pain that keeps me from sleep
I try to explain how your touch drives me insane
And I can't spend a night without wishing I was with you

Still getting butterflies ever once in a while
Feelings exist, I'm falling
Twist on lust, a choice to care, a wish to touch

So... I'm gonna start this post tonight with a little story. In my creative writing class there is a guy (well actually there are many in there) I am going to call him Mason. We have critique groups and he was one of the members in mine. We were carrying on a conversation on Monday and for some reason he touched my knee. It was purposeful, a light squeeze I suppose, I don't find this man all that attractive to me personally but he's a nice guy, but when he did that I had the weirdest sensation run through me. I had missed that kind of touch. It wasn't necessarily a sensual touch but it wasn't exactly light and playful. The touch that you could imagine from a lover almost. The whole day I thought of that, of that feeling, of that touch. He hugged me today at the end of class after wishing me a great Spring Break. Our cheeks connected as our bodies melded into the embrace. The stubble of his 5 o'clock shadow felt almost like sandpaper against my cheek but not in a bad way. Once again I enjoyed the sensation and it stuck to me for a few hours after our embrace had ended.

I now see how sometimes things are easier to cope with if they never come back or if they come back when you are ready for them. Those things happened so suddenly and out of the blue that I never saw it coming and it hit me like a brick wall. Now... now I want that more then I did. Which almost brings me to the next...

Warm sand... Spring break.... HELL YEAH!!!! There I feel a little better. I'm actually going on a road trip with a dear friend of mine and we are going to hit the east coast. Road trip it actually. I need this. I need this spontaneous road trip that helps prove that my life isn't as boring as it feels right now. We all fall into that rut and this is our chance to climb out of it. No holds bard. (I might have spelt that wrong, my appologizes) I'm not going to do anything outragous I don't think but I'm going to pull down barriers and enjoy myself. Personally I am hoping to meet a cutie or two so that when I look back I can point at photos and say "Oh there's *insert name here* he was so much fun! We met him in Myrtle Beach and he showed us the town. He smelled great and had the cutest dimples when he smiled. I'll never forget that man" Something along those lines.

Either way I will let you know how things go when I return. I'm not leaving until Saturday but when I come home I will give you some of the interesting goodies that make this story of my life a little more interesting...